To mama's so fat that her escape velocity in her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Jehovah's Witness. Have you heard the word of God?

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What magical power enables Spongebob to talk? There is no magical power. he is a cartoon therefore making him be able to anything in anyone's wild dreams.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 782

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are taking a chemistry exam. They each get a solid B on the test.

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Q- if a small quiz is a quizicle then whats a small test A- a testicle

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What do you call an old lady walking down the street? Widowed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To distract everyone from the Mexican.

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3 black guys are in the back of a car. Who is driving? A taxi driver

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Doesn't matter, had sex. Except for the STD's I possibly contracted.

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How can you know your roommate is gay? His dick has the taste of shit

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A man walks into a bar. He drinks heavily and dies of alcohol poisoning.

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NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

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Yo momma so ugly, she couldn't fulfill her dream of being a model.

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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Who doesn't love finding money in your pocket when you go to put your pants on? a rape victim

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What do you call black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist bastard

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because six cheated on seven and slept with nine.

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Have You Ever Seen Stevie Wonder's New House? No.. Neither Has He.

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"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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Did you hear about the man hear about the man who lost an arm and a leg in a car accident? He's alright now.

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Did you hear the one about the spoon and the dis running away while the cow jumped over the moon, IMPOSSIBLE! eating material such as the spoon and dish are inanimate objects, and cows cant jump for they weigh from 600 to 1000 lbs.

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Why did the black homeowner declare bankruptcy on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by continuing to pay his mortgage bills.

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Why did the boy fall? He got tackled by a man that was 400 pounds.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops