Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally weighed 500 lbs and it was a bamboo tree.

A Mexican guy, a black guy, and an ISIS member walk into a bar. The black and Mexican men, realizing the potential danger in the situation quickly exit the bar and alert the proper authorities. $

Two polar bears, oddly enough, are sitting in a bathtub. One of them asks "Could you pass the soap?" The other obliges and gives him the soap.

How do you make someone laugh? Tell them this joke.

A man walks in to a bar. Ouch.

5 Jewish men walk into a bar and are expected to be treated nicely

How many like does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? As many as it takes.

1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

How do you make etheopians rave ? glue bread to the roof

The man said to his wife love hurts. the wife then progressed with punching in the face.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

Two elves walk into a bar. The hobbit laughs and walks under it.

How many straight naked men can you fit in a wardrobe? I'm not sure but the situation is highly unlikely!

A couple elopes in Vegas. The next morning while eating breakfast the woman tells her husband she thinks it was a mistake, using her alcoholism as an excuse for her inability to make practical decisions. The man proceeded to cry and called his attorney to arrangea proper divorce.

What's worse than dropping your loli-pop? The Holocaust

How do mummies keep there secrets wrapped up? They are dead.

What's worse than 6 dead babies in a trash can? More than 6.

Why did the racist guy die? Because the black guy stabbed him with a fork.

How do you stop a friendly bear from bouncing up and down on your front lawn? Shoot it in the neck.

What did the boy with AIDS, polio, one eye and one arm get for Christmas? Cancer.

A women gets a call saying her only daughter is trapped inside a burning building. She runs as fast as she can too her car before she realizes... women can't drive due to their role in society, so she returned to the kitchen and continued to make her master's sandwhich.

there r three guys on a bridge. They r chinese,mexican,&american. They each have a bottle of beer. The chinese dude says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. Then the mexican says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. The american takes a drink of his and sets it down he looks at the mexican and says I have enough of these in my country and throws the mexican over the bridge.

What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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