Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

Parents were talking about a particular whore house and tries to keep it secret to their son. Father: Bob and I saw the house near the river, its a whore house full of prostitutes. Mother: Shhh! Our son is listening. The Son enters the room. Son: Don't mind me, I know that area. Both parents were angry: So you've been there!? Don't deny, you know! Son: Just because I know doesn't mean I've been there. I know the moon has less gravity but I haven't been there.

Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

There is a mom a dad and a son, they walk into the museum and the dad is in the bathroom.

How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

Why did the Mexican cross the border? To get into the USA for a better lifestyle.

What's the best thing for a hangover? Heavy drinking the night before.

Your momma's so old, she your family should be proud to know someone who has lived such a long and full life.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, No, violets are VIOLET, That’s why they’re called “violets.” Edmund Spenser was an idiot.

What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

blargen fa-diddle nachen!

Q. What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? A. An ambulance due to the fact that he has a rather serious head wound.

" Want to hear a good anti-joke?! " " Sure! " " Me too. "

What do a goat and an eagle have in common? They both can fly, except for the goat.

Q: why did Suzie drop her ice cream? A: because she got hit by a bus.. Q:knock knock who's there? A: not Suzie

Next Q: What's worse than a bee sting? A: Two bee stings. Q: What's worse than two bee stings? A: Three bee stings. Q: What's worse than three bee stings? A: Sexual assault.

What did the plant say to the human. Nothing.

if you are reading this your wasting your time

A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

Why did the man cross the road? Because the light was red!

I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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