What's the difference between a baby and a pineapple? Pineapples were not shot by nazis during the holocaust.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why did the groom have cold feet? Because his socks were slightly damp resulting in evaporation and the cooling of his feet, as well as the cold weather in December.

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2 guys walk into a bar. You'd hink one of them should have seen it. After all, it is a large building.

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what did rebecca say to sabrina ? CALL wass !!

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Q: What do you call a unicorn on a mountain? A: Freaking sick.

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why did the blond cross the road? she doesnt know either

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say mustache? ...No. I wish you had said mustache.

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A man walks into a store, and says to the cashier: "I'd like to buy 6 fridges". The cashier says: "Why do you need that many fridges?" The man says: "I'm an antelope!"

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You are the third derivative of the position function.

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a woman asked her husband, why havent you been talking to me? the man answers, you are having an affair so i ignored you and only talked to the girl im cheating on you with. you should know your a horrible person

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A guy walks into a bar. He order three drinks and hands them to the lady behind him. It's because she is an alcoholic.

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A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

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whats the difference between a pizza and a jew -a pizza is food

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Whats the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? There are far to many differences between humans and birds to consider for this question. A small list might include wings, feathers, and mating habits to name a few.

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How do you kill a blue elephant, with a blue elephant gun, how do you kill a pink elephant, you strangle it until it turns blue and shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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how did the bling man cross the street? He didn't half way there he tripped and got ran over by a car.

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How do you keep a dog from chasing it's tail? cut off it's legs.

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What do you get when you give a homeless man a sandwich? It thrown at the back of your head.

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Pencils are yellow, Grass is green OK

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go for a bike ride??

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A purple kangaroo hops into a bar. There is no such thing as a purple kangaroo. The end.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken probably crossed the road because of some sort of impulse or external stimuli (most likely a bug or a worm located on the other side of the road) in which he or she responded to by proceeding to cross the road in order to get to the other side as chickens have a sense of cause to effect in which the effect would be consuming the bug or other living life form.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops