What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

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When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

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Why did the Black man cross the road? To get to Pop-Eye's since KFC is too expensive nowadays. HELL-YA

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

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You know what's funny? You got AIDs

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a Guinness.

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Why was the Asian terrible at driving? He was drunk.

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why did the kid struggle in school? because hes mentally retarted

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It thought they were playing follow the leader. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the little girl fall off her tricycle? She was hit by three monkeys and a refrigerator.

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whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

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Why couldn't the mother make her son's funeral? She died in a car crash on the way there.

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

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What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

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Parents were talking about a particular whore house and tries to keep it secret to their son. Father: Bob and I saw the house near the river, its a whore house full of prostitutes. Mother: Shhh! Our son is listening. The Son enters the room. Son: Don't mind me, I know that area. Both parents were angry: So you've been there!? Don't deny, you know! Son: Just because I know doesn't mean I've been there. I know the moon has less gravity but I haven't been there.

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There is a mom a dad and a son, they walk into the museum and the dad is in the bathroom.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? To get into the USA for a better lifestyle.

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How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

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What's the best thing for a hangover? Heavy drinking the night before.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, No, violets are VIOLET, That’s why they’re called “violets.” Edmund Spenser was an idiot.

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Your momma's so old, she your family should be proud to know someone who has lived such a long and full life.

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asdasdasdasd

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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