What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

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Q. What did the chicken do when it lost its egg? A. It went to go look for it. Q. Why was the chicken scared of the duck? A. Because it was chicken Q.Why can't chickens fly? A. Because they don't want to Q.Why can't chickens swim? A. Because they don't want to Q. Whey do chickens cluck? A. Because they want to Q. Why did the chicken jump on top of a car? A. Because it knows how Q. Why doesn't a chicken have hands? A. Because it's not human Q. What did the chicken dream about? A. Chicken dreams Q. Why was the chicken lost? A. Because it wasn't found Q. Why wasn't the chicken afriad of the dog? A. Because the chicken was blind Q. Why doesn't the chicken know how to drive a car A. Because they don't need to

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because if he stayed on the farm, he would have been condemned to a miserable life, subjected to deplorable living conditions and an eventual pain-filled death by the hand of a cruel and heartless farmer. Crossing that road was his only chance of salvation.

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There are 3 people in a car, shit, manners, and asshole. They are driving and shit falls out. They pull over and manners gets out to help shit. Then a cop comes and pulls them over. The cop ask asshole what his name is. He said asshole. The cop said what. Then asshole said asshole. Then the cop says where are your manners. Asshole said over their picking up shit.

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To men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

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Knock knock Who's There Sally Sally who? Sally who .got hit with a fridge and fell off a tree because I have no arms. Sorry, I do not know you.

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

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yo mamas so young shes gonna b born soon

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How many babies could a cannibal eat? 132/267 of a baby

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A French man, Irish man and Japanese man walk into a bar, seeing as the men speak different languages no conversation begins.

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How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

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what's better than being stabbed in the testicles with a biro? the Silversun Pickup's album Neck of the Woods

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How do you save stop your soulmate from dying of cancer? Shoot them on the head.

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How do you stop R Kelly from peeing on little girls? Kill all little girls.

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What do you call a guy that just shit himself? Me

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How did Whitney huston die? By eating a turkey sasandwich and then put a car jump starter in the bath tub.

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Why is Skrillex bad at fishing? Because he always increases the treble input in his songs, and he doesnt have a rod.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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What is funnier then 25 9/11

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Why did the man stop playing his computer game? The SWAT busted down his door and quickly pinned him down and arrested him for the murder of 7 families, he was charged for life in prison.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from ebola

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Rocky was chasing him

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A guy walks into a bar, and says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops