Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother. Please open the door. Your mother who? You were adopted.

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How many Japanese people does it take to make a whirlpool? - None, because they're all dead.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

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When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Well, that's going to be some horrible lemonade if life doesn't also give you water and sugar.

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So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

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Doctor Doctor! I think im turning into a carrot! Thats a side effect of the drugs Alice, We've just had your test results back. I'm sorry Alice, You've got HIV.

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A black person goes up to the drive through at popeye's, what did they say? Nothing, it was closed.

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Whats worse than Lindsey Lohans vagina? Nothing.

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why did the chicken cross the road? who cares?

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why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

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Before you insult a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you insult him, you'll be a mile away, and have his shoes.

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What's better than your first Hanukkah? Not being a Jew.

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Click here to end the world.

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Text this number just cuz 16305208722

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. wow i missed the entire purpose of this.

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What do you call a guy sleeping with little boys? Michael Jackson

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Roses are red. Violets are beer. Kay eckelkamp is in charge here.

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What day is it today? Today. Thank you. You're welcome.

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the teacher enters the room she sits in her chair and yells, "i am your substitute teacher. get out your books and write me a story."

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Why is six afraid of seven? SE7EN!

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?? Cause he got hit by a bus.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

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Doctor: I have good news and bad news. The good news is that your parents survived the car accident. Kid: And the bad news is? Doctor: I have a horrible sense of humor, they're both dead. I'm so sorry.

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what does I.C.T mean when a teacher says it it means I cant teach

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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