Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

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Why do women have boobs? So you've got something to look at while you talk to them. That's sexist... I'm sorry.

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What did the man with no head get for Christmas? Nothing he was dead

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Hey you know what? What? Never mind.

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What's wrong with black people? They tend to make mistakes, as do all humans

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Jamie: Peter your hands smell like cows! Jason: eeh no they smell like cows balls

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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A teacher, a lawyer, and a doctor are all at the edge of the cliff. Then they jump off and die.

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whats cold, blue and hard? a frozen blueberry.

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After going at it for several minutes, the teenager, with a big grin in his face, finally busted a nut during Thanksgiving dinner and was able to remove the walnut from its shell and enjoy it.

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What do you call a shoe with milk in it? Shoe

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Why did Suzy Fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

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Whats the difference between a penis and a vagina? Pancakes,

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Why do all black people have AIDS? Because they deserve it.

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How many dead babies can you fit inside Casey Anthony's trunk? Trick question. She didn't do it.

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Why don't meth addicts like food? Because they have not teeth to chew it with.

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how did the kid cut open his forehead? by putting on his underwear!

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There was a blonde, brunette and red head driving in a car. The car breaks down so the three of them decide to walk. So the red head takes water bottles, the brunette takes food and the blonde took the car. The red head asked the brunette why she was taking the food, the brunette said "incase i get hungry i can eat" then the brunette asked the red head why she brought water the red head said "incase i get thirsty i can have a drink. Then the brunette asked the blonde why she brought the car the blonde said "to drive home".

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Why couldn't little Susie ride her bicycle? She had Cerebral Palsy.

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What has 389,236,587 arms, has rainbow colored fur, and fornicates on your front lawn? Absolutely nothing. That's pretty much physically impossible.

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? Because the numerous failed attempts of crossing over the years deemed it almost impossible, therefore, chicken could no longer see the point in life.

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Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

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knock knock who's there? F uck F uck who? F uck off

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops