Why was a black man in a police car? He is a police officer.

Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It couldnt because a chicken was obscuring its path.

What's blue and can't read? The Pacific Ocean

Why did Austin Bell smell like tuna? He had sea food at Joes Crab Shack

How many women can fit on a bus? It depends on the size of the bus.

Once there was this duck. he was the best dentist in the world...

How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ten. One to actually screw it in, and nine to stand around and say, "I can do it better."

I am green. You are blue. Jokes are infinite. This is too.

Lollies are sweet warheads are sour, open your legs and feel my power

Knock Knock. Who's There? Nobody, this is a metaphorical door..

Albert <3 Hunter

What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? They both can't ride a bike

Why'd the bird in Ohio fall out of its nest? There was a squirrel that was eaten by a large eagle. The eagle then flew to Ohio and died. Then, a large dog grabbed the Eagles corpse and brought it to his owner. The owner then decided to have it for dinner. Inside the eagle, he found the squirrels bones. He put the bones in a catapult, and sent them flying. The bones hit a car and the car slipped off the road and into a river. Then, a whale put the car on its back and swam to the shore. At the shore, the whale got stranded and sadly died. Crabs surrounded the whale and ate it. One crab then ran away and up a tree. It found a stapler and a rubber dinosaur mask and gave it to a chipmunk. The chipmunk climbed up the tree, stapled nuts into the birds eyes and stapled the rubber dinosaur mask to its face, the bird got scared, and then all of the sudden the chipmunk stapled itself to the birds back. The birds family then came and shoved the two out of the tree because they hated chipmunks, and their son Timmy the bird was a disappointment. The bird and the chipmunk fell and died. That is why the bird fell.

What happened to the Jewish child that used to live life like a normal kid? Him and his family were taken to a ditch and shot to death. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

What did the farmer say to the cow that asked for food? No.

What do you get when Justin Bieber mates with a beaver? Nothing, the species are too genetically different to produce offspring

whats black white and red all over an abused child

Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

bob lost his camouflage bag. he never found it.

What did the T Rex say to the pterodactyl? ROIRWR!!!

Q. What do you call a headless boy in a river A. A headless boy, in a river.

knock knock whos there. no one your hullicinating, heroine is hell of a drug

What do you get when you cross a lion and a tiger? A Ligor.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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