What do you call a blonde that just got hit by a school bus? Dead.

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If Hellen Keller could meet Obama, what would she say? Nothing.

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

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What do you do when your baby won't stop crying. Slit its throat

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What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

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What did Al gore say after he sold his TV Station to Arab Oil Money? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. CHA-CHING!

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What did the Taliban teenager strap on his chest before getting on the bus? A blue rubber dildo.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he got shot in the face. Why couldn't the boy get back on the swing? He had no arms. Why didnt his mum come and save him? She is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair.

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he wanted to impress his wife.

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Why wouldn't joey pay attention in class? Because he was being raped by a grizzly bear.

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- Why does a kid from Chernobyl have two heads? - Because of the effects of the nuclear disaster that occurred there in 1986.

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star wars kid

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because

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What is worse than getting shot in the leg? Getting shot in the head.

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A bra walks into a dyslexic man.

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A dog walks into a bar, followed by his blind owner.

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A blind man walks into a bar. Nobody is surprised.

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

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Why didnt the teenager have a smartphone? He didnt live close to a cell phone store

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What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

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What is the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is a piece of wood, while the black man is a human being.

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What can kill you when it falls out of a tree? Anything of a considerable weight actually.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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