Whats red, black and brown? My anus after a Friday night

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whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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What's green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

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A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

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a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

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Q: Why did the boy fall of the swing? A: He had no arms.

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A rabi and a priest go out for a coffee they talk for a while and go on there way

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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what did the mother say to the banana? I'm going to eat you like your father.

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WHY DONT WE HAVE BOTH?

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why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The ten year old in my trunk

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What do you call a lesbian with a penis? Justin Bieber.

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why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

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Q:How do you get better at boxing? A:Get a bigger package Daniel W. Schnurr

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It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What's the difference between a convertible and a dead baby? One's in my garage, and one's a car.

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Parents were talking about a particular whore house and tries to keep it secret to their son. Father: Bob and I saw the house near the river, its a whore house full of prostitutes. Mother: Shhh! Our son is listening. The Son enters the room. Son: Don't mind me, I know that area. Both parents were angry: So you've been there!? Don't deny, you know! Son: Just because I know doesn't mean I've been there. I know the moon has less gravity but I haven't been there.

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Your momma's so fat, diet and exercise would probably save her life!

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Q: What do people usually find funny? A: A joke.

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Whats worse than a dead baby? Two dead babys.

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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