Whats worse than one pregnancy scare... two pregnancy scares...whats worse than two pregnancy scares? being forced to having consensual sex with a grizzly bear.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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How do you drown a blonde? From her infancy, instill in her a dread of the water. Keep her away from baths and showers, protect her from pools, and as the child grows, regale her nightly with terrible stories about the cruelty of the sea. When she has matured past 18, take her out to the middle of a lake on a boat and push her in.

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your matriarchal component is so overweight that her body mass index is over the desired level for her height and age

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Boy: Is your body from McDonalds ? Girl: Aww is it because your lovin' it? Boy: No, it's because your greasy and fat!

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whats blue and fluffy? BLUE FLUFF

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Connor "Rusty" McLeod

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roses are red facebook is blue you look f**kable so i'll add you by: matt

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There is a car full of black people.

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Why did Billy fall off the Empire State building? He didn't fall, he jumped. He decided to commit suicide due to his lack of friends, caring parents, low self-esteem, and self-concious issues. Billy really needed a therapist.

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what do you call someone that ran into a wall hurt

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How do you check that you are not dreaming, but in actual fact, you are wide awake? Try to bite off our finger (this is actually possible, but the brain does not allow you to do it).

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'Hey do you know a joke?' 'No' 'Me too'

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A pregnant woman takes the bus, once inside she realizes that there are no seats. No one was pollite enough to let her sit down so she felt pretty uncomfortable on the way home.

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I man walks into a bar. He got drunk.

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What did the lion say the the zebra? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak and therefore could not make conversation with said zebra, hunted it down, killed it, and shared it with his pride of 27.

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Q; What's something that's long and girls like to suck? A: A popsicle

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Lockerbie bombing

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An antijoke

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What do you call a diving-board factory worker threatening to jump off the roof? Names.

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Q. What's black and white and red all over? A. Certainly not a newspaper. Nobody reads those anymore.

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WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW

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How do you keep a woman entertained? A delightful romantic comedy

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A Mexican and a black person both jump off a bridge, who hits the water first? Neither, as all matter falls at the same rate, regardless of weight, size, or ethnicity.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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