Why did Sally Fall Off The Swing? She had no arms Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally

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How do u save someone from dieing of cancer? U shoot them in the head

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james schmitt whats your last name

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Your Momma’s muscle to fat ratio can only be explained in irrational complex numbers.

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Q. Why did billy die? A. Becuase everyone dies in life

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"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

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if this joke was a potato, it would be a good potato

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? Just one.

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knock, knock no one answers man goes home and shots himself because he feels alone

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Why was the blonde woman crying? -because she witnessed her infant get sucked into a jet engine and was very sad.

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Once there was a baby ostrich name Bert. He was the cutest ostrich with those big black beady eyes, fuzzy feathers and funny wobbly baby ostrich walk. I knelt down and as Bert came running towards me as if I were his ostrich father about to protect him from something dangerous. As he got within arm’s reach I punched him so hard he turned into a baby kitten. I decided that Bert was an ...insufficient name for a baby kitten so I said to the purring ball of fuzz “I shall call you Turtle” a kitten named Turtle was a very hilarious conundrum. Things went well for an hour or two and then Turtle decided to pee on my tile floors which infuriated me because everyone knows that cat pee doesn’t come out of carpet! I decided to teach Turtle a football drill called kick the cuddly baby kitten so hard he turns into a koala bear. I sat Turtle on a football tee and suddenly our eyes met and he stared at me with the cutest face a kitten has ever made I took three steps back and turned back towards him. I stared into his big baby kitten eyes and then at a running sprint kicked him as hard as I could into the wall. There was a quiet sound like that of a space shuttle taking off into outer space. As I looked to see where my kick had sent Turtle soaring through the air, I found to my surprise, Turtle had turned into a cute cuddly baby raccoon. I walked across the room and scooped up the adorable baby raccoon. A raccoon named turtle was just too absurd so I decided to give the furry ball of warmth a new and more appropriate name. I stared into his cute raccoon eyes and declared aloud, “I shall call you Dorito!” I rocked Dorito calmly back and forth in my arms until he was fast asleep. A thought then entered my head, how funny would it be to put Dorito into a chip bag? I chuckled aloud and then decided my mind was set. I pulled a chip bag out of my backpack and carefully pulled the bag open and realized I’d been scammed! Inside the bag was a single Dorito chip. I then ate my Doritos.

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A blond, a brunette and a redhead are all trapped on a desert island. They work together and manage to survive until help arrives.

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YO mama so stupid, when she got hit by a bus she said WHO THREW THAF ROCK AT ME.

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Why do Jews have big noses? Because it is genetic.

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What's the problem with blonde people? They don't have black hair.

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Two girls were sitting quietly. Badum tss

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? he was epileptic

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All dead all doom or all dead? How can you choose the question doesn't make sense. dead all dooom ohhhaklsdjfla;ksdjfal;skfjasd

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What has 4 eyes, but can't see? 2 blind people.

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You know how we have iPods? OJ Simpson strangled his wife.

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Q: What's annoying and doesn't smoke? A: AIDS

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

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Roses are read Violets are not green Chicken is good KFC baby, time to get lean

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Myspace

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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