What do you call a monkey? A monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

josh simpson has cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +37

If life throws you lemons Catch them

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far away from its shoulders.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken probably crossed the road because of some sort of impulse or external stimuli (most likely a bug or a worm located on the other side of the road) in which he or she responded to by proceeding to cross the road in order to get to the other side as chickens have a sense of cause to effect in which the effect would be consuming the bug or other living life form.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Whats a good source of iron? A piece of iron.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did the cow say to the farmer? 'Moo.'

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Women rights..

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Whats blue, sticky and glows only during the morning? IDK -Lets go Mets

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has Parkinson's Disease which causes his hands to shake uncontrollably thus making drawing anything relatively difficult and a perfect circle impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

roses are black violets are gray im color blind

thumb_up thumb_down +23

1 + 1 = 11 Just kidding, it's 2 you moron.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson was a child molester.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

why did the boy drop her ice cream? -he got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Somebody call animal control, there's a horse in the bar." The horse is then taken away and made into glue and dog food.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

justin littleton. nuff said

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a woman who is good at driving? Danica Patrick

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you get when you mate an elephant with a rhino? Not much of anything except inter-species animal sex, considering the fact that the two do not share enough genetic material to create any sort of offspring.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Guy 1 : what you watching? Guy 2 : a documentary on birds Guy 1 : can i watch it with you? Guy 2 : yeah sure go for it.....

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the teacher say to the student? You did very poorly on your homework and will never succeed. The student was black.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you get a nun pregnant? You have sex with her.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Dani Barton = Stupid

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops