You know what happens when you assume. You jump to a conclusion that could conceivably have severe consequences.

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What do black men do in the South? Hang around

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What did the bullied schoolboy do when he got home from school? He cried himself to sleep.

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Why doesn't Santa have any children? Because Santa doesn't exist.

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Q: What's big and white and can't climb trees? A: a fridge

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Kate

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How many jews can you fit in a buick? 6...only if you squeeze 4 in the back.

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What do you call a monkey? A monkey.

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What's worse than losing your job? 9/11

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How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? If you need an electrician to screw in a lightbulb, you're a moron.

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STOP LOOKING AT MY JOKE

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Dead.

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Why was the man afraid of the cat? Because he is allergic to cats and might die if he gets too close to it.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side why didnt the chicken cross back? for the first time in his life, Clucky the chicken, felt liberated. his cruel life flashed before his eyes, forcing him to remember all the bad tines he had spent on the McKinley farm. all the eggs stolen from him, watching all his friends being taken for slaughter. it all came back. from the other side of the road, Clucky saw a place he never wanted to go back to, a place he wanted to forget. the day he chose not to cross back was the first real day in Clucky's life.

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Q. Why does Hugo masturbate? A. To build muscle.

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What do you get when you put a dead baby and some nails in a blender? A dead baby and some nails

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Q: Why did the boy cry? A: He was denied access into heaven

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A businessman walks out of a store with his new haircut he was bald.

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knock knock you may come in

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What's long and hard on a black man? First grade.

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There once was a genie With a sevenfoot weenie And he went to the lady next door She thought it was a snake So she hit it with a rake And then he murdered the shit out of her.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has Parkinson's Disease which causes his hands to shake uncontrollably thus making drawing anything relatively difficult and a perfect circle impossible.

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Aodhan Hearty

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What did the boy with no legs and no arms get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops