a man eats at a restaraunt alone, because all the people he loved died in a tragic boating accident while he was out of town on a business trip

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What do you call a diving-board factory worker threatening to jump off the roof? Names.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken probably crossed the road because of some sort of impulse or external stimuli (most likely a bug or a worm located on the other side of the road) in which he or she responded to by proceeding to cross the road in order to get to the other side as chickens have a sense of cause to effect in which the effect would be consuming the bug or other living life form.

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The size of Idris Elba's penis

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Why did Jack and Jill fall down the hill? Because they were donuts

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I won the game.

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What's the difference between uranium and plutonium? Blast radius

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A Mexican and a black person both jump off a bridge, who hits the water first? Neither, as all matter falls at the same rate, regardless of weight, size, or ethnicity.

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GRAAAAAAAR.

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A man hanged himself, leaving a note. Nobody found him, nor the note. Nobody cared for him.

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What did the man with paranoid schizophrenia say? I suffer from paranoid schizophrenia.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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Do you think retarded people know that they are retarded? I don't know, you tell me. Wait a second....did you just call me retarded? They are clueless.

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What is the difference between Jews and the boyscouts? The boyscouts come home from camp.

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What did the boy with no legs and no arms get for Christmas? Cancer.

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There once was a genie With a sevenfoot weenie And he went to the lady next door She thought it was a snake So she hit it with a rake And then he murdered the shit out of her.

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Q:What happens to an elephant if he falls from a building with 10 floors? A:He dies

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What does a baseball and a T-Rex have in common? What? Neither of them is a carrot.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar He sits down and has some trouble reading the menu but orders a beer

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Roses are flowers jordan does it for hours xxxxif ya know what i mean

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why was the bunny black? because it was born this way baby

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Why couldn't the young boy go trick or treating? He was a diabetic.

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He do you get an emo kid to stop cutting himself? Take away his knife.

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Whats the difference between a horse and a pile of wheat? Its a pile of wheat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops