What did the blind, deaf orphan get for Christmas? Cancer.

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whats worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in ten dumpsters.

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Why don't blind people skydive? They do.

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How do you keep a dog from barking? Kill it.

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Why did the man throw his alarm clock out the window? Because he has anger management issues.

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a mexican is walking through the desert with no food or water, and no clothes. he'll probably die soon.

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Oh hey is your dad good at golf? No, he's not really good at anything except lying.

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knock knock whos there? doctor doctor who?

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Why do black people ride Septa? Because septa is an affordable and convenient means of transportation.

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Duncan Traywick is hilarious.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Waking up with a snapping turtle up your butt.

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What did the first muffin say to the second? Nothing. Muffins can't talk, you idiot.

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Why didn't the man win the lottery? Because his lottery numbers weren't drawn.

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A straight-A star quarterback was about to throw the game-winning pass during the final game of his school's season. If he got this pass their undefeated record would have been completed for the last 50 years. Before he threw the pass, he was sacked by a defender. He fell incorrectly and broke both of his legs, rendering all of his scholarships invalid. He hasn't walked since.

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Why did Tyrone try to sell Timmy some blow? Due to his poor educational background, lack of recommendations, and a terrible job market, Tyrone wasn't able to get a real job and had to resort to selling illegal narcotics. This wasn't something Tyrone wanted to do, because he promised himself he would never end up like his father, but this was the only way he could support his family.

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A man walks into a bar... and gets hurt.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a preacher walk into a bar. They ordered a water each.

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How do you make a bird drop a worm? Wring it's neck. P.S: If that anti-joke didn't persuade you to vote thumbs up for this post, then perhaps these delightful lyrics will convince you otherwise. I see them staring back at me They know my name The faces in the sky are looking for something more My friends have paper smiles and laugh at me in all my trials Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia My friends have hollow eyes They're made of shapes and curvy lines Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow [. From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/e/elena-siegman-lyrics/pareidolia-lyrics.html .] My pareidolia The loneliness is only missed when I am alone O yeah I might try to find my light tonight Hide my sight from eyes I try to fight My nine eyes of light die by the blight Ride white knight unite my plight tonight They're inside me They're inside me I'm inside out I'm inside out They're all around Within without Within without They're inside I'm outisde They're all around They're all around They're inside me I'm inside out They're all around Within without It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia la lalala lalala lalala lala

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After be told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, Chuck walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

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whats worse than dropping your ice cream down the stairs? dropping your baby down the stairs

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How did the man rob the bank? With a gun

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A guy walks into a bar, and then orders a jack and coke.

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-Knock Knock -Anthony got in a car crash -Who's There -He died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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