Why did seven eat nine? Because six was afraid of him.

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knock knock "whos there ?" "the police , your husband has died" "ok"

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a man decided to climb a tree. he got to the top,raised his arms above his head and said "I am on top of the world ". after that he fell because he was not holding on to anything

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

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A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a bus on the way over.

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What do you call a lepucaun leaping in a feild of flowers, on christmas? Ground beef.

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the car get in the car

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Knock knock. Who's there? IRS. Youre being audited, Sir.

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What did the homeless man find on the side of the street? A pile of dead babies.

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What did Jimmy do on his 8th birthday? Turn 8.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What's a fry cook's favorite day? Saturday. It's his day off.

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"So, what do you fancy doing tonight?" "Does it matter? We'll end up doing what you want anyway..."

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Why did the girl fall off of her swing? Because she had no arms.

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What's special about an Irish Parachute ? It's made in Ireland.

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Is it a ironic if a man with ADD is driving a Ford Focus?

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I am not physically scarred, rather mentally, lets just say my childhood was a lot less than pleasant, I got no idea where you got that "Nero lost an arm" thing, I got both arms working. But I guess I often feel alone because only I can feel, see and experience the pain of the scars a terrible childhood has left me with. You are right though, it is easy to give up saying that humanity is not ready or worthy, making me feel as Dr.Doom or something alike, hidden behind some suit of armor still ashamed for things I know that I am not, but that still burn deep within my mind. PTSD buddy, it does not matter if I logically believe that I am competent or not, when my past is engraved, etched into my soul, constantly telling me I am not, so helping others is actually pretty easy, yet saving myself, I do not know how anymore, it is easy to change the minds of those that have not been broken time after time physically and mentally by those which they love the most. I will heal, your words are inspiring, thank you.

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Why do hummingbirds hum? They don't realize how annoying it is.

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What do you call a black man chasing after a macdonalds van? The fastest thing in the dessert.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, I was asking you.

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why was the woman crying? her son killed 5 people.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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you're momma's so fat, and i like fat chicks. is she home?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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