What did Sherlock Holmes say when he saw a very pretty lady? Hello

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What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

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well use a tissue!

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What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

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The other day I went into the bathroom to take a poo, It was Glorious I flushed the toilet and everything.

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All I can say is that its not the feds, and not Interpol nothing "legal" nor anything belonging to the state as far as we can tell. You all stay locked up, and I will make sure this little geek with shitty breath does not say anything about you, as for the rest, I cant say much.

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so if your riding down a big hill in your canoe and your bicycle falls out how many pancakes do you have left? you would have 200 pancakes left --sticksack

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so there was a frog a bear and a walrus... i forgot how the rest goes but they all die because of a nuclear holocaust

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How do you keep the crime rate down in a black neighborhood? Blow everybody up all at one time.

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How do you confuse a terrorist? Speak another language other than Arabic

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How did the man know he was gay? Australia is full of kangaroos

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Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip? TO GET TO THE SAME SIDE!!!BAZZINGA!!!

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What do you call a duck playing a trombone? Hallucinations

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Why did the Old Lady cross the road? Because the worm selected her as a weapon

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black people swimming

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Whats fleash color fleash color and fleashcolor? a naked hobo rolling down a hill

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What's worse then getting a broken bone? A large marsupial charging at you with vicious speed

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What is Hellen Keller's favorite movie? Around the block in 80 days.

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Barny the purple dinosaur has no imagination, stuck his finger up his ass and called it masterbaition!

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What did one cow say to the other cow? Nothing. Cows do not possess the ability to speak.

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a horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" Then the horse left because that question is racist to horses.

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How do you stop a baby from spinning round a washing line. Hit it in face with a baseball bat.

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More mindfuck: Your school is betraying you edition. How are you going to feel good about yourself, if you have to UNDER STAND everything you learn? Moral: If you dont get it, you are not ready.

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When the sun goes down... Most of the guys pants goes down too. Just be straight XD

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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