A man and a six year old boy are walking along a path through the woods on a moonless night. "Gee mister, I'm scared!" says the boy. "You're scared?" says the man. "I have to walk back alone!"

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Excuse me sir, do you know where I can find the restroom? I don't know, I'm sorry.

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Friend: Hey dude, you wanna come to my house after school and do some Meth? Other Friend: Nah I dont wanna get scabs all over my skin, disgusting teeth, and im not in the mood for dying early. Im good here.

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What's the difference between dead babies and punching bag? No one makes jokes about punching bags.

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Why was the bus company sued? For substandard national safety regulations

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What does a chicken get for Christmas? A trip to the processing plant.

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whats worse than having ice cream and not eating it? Being lactose intolerant

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What did the red bag have written on it? Yellow bag

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How do you beat Andy Murry at tennis? KILL HIM!

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What do you call a hairy pussy? A cat.

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Whats funnier than a dead baby? Pretty much anything.

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roses are blue violets are red crap i screwed up dont judge me

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What did one viking say to the other viking? I don't know, it was in Danish

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares...he didn't make it anyways..

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What did the Irishman say to the German? "Sorry, do you have the time?"

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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I am strangling you. Do you see my arms? I AM FREAKEN STRANGLING YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your boyfriend's gay

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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knock knock who's there? banana well that's an odd name. banana then began to break down in tears because his parents were constant drug abusers and gave him that name while they were high

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haiku for you ladies and gents My mother once said, "Slow and steady wins the race" She died in a fire.

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A man walks into a bar and the barman says "Why the long face?" And the man replies "I am severely deformed".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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