Yesterday i ate an owl with all the feathers on it

How do you wake up Lady Gaga in the morning You poke her face

How do you creep out a clown? Pet him softly and call him kitty kat while making a guttural sound that is not socially acceptable in mainstream American society.

Whats worse than getting in an arrow in the side of your neck Finding out there is a gas bill tied to it

What did little John do when he was bored? He went on Anti-Joke

what happens when u fall down the stairs? you break your arm.

My dog has no nose, how does it smell? Using its anus.

A man starts acting weird in a resturant, the waiter says "whats the problem sir?" The man says "I'm choking and I just died."

There was an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman. Now there's millions of them. And women too.

So a clown walks up to you and asks, "What'll always STICK with you? The violent disposition of humanity."

What do you do if you are surrounded by 2000 Hungry cannibals? You talk to them in a calm yet determined diplomatic voice, then you become a part of them. Moral: A part of them... Forever.

Knock knock Whos there your son your son who holy shit dad just let me in

homosexual rights to marriage

What goes up and down but never physically moves? My grade.

What do you call an horse? A horse, because horse does not start with a vowel and that would be grammatically incorrect.

Knock Knock whos there? a black man ohh ok come in

What walks on the three legs? Martin, he was born with a tragic birth defect and struggles to make a living.

Girl, why are you crying? I'm not a girl, I'm a strawberry.

What happened when a star exploded? It killed billions of other sentient beings.

Several of our "name brothers" have been attacked threatened and questioned almost every night since when we last talked on the phone, it turns out that these people are not after me. But after you, they have no idea that I retired years ago, and while their information is limited, you got yourself someone that is selling information on the deep web intentionally, as far as we know he might be selling you out piece by piece, and as of this point, you might be in dire danger.

Two elderly men were sat next to a children's playground... They were there to pick up their grandchildren because their parents were at work.

whats funnier then a joke on anit jokes pracitcally anything cause anti jokes repaeats and everyone has herd them

Why did the horse die? I shot it in the face.

Are we in Tennessee? Because I recently saw on the side of the road that it was 10 miles to Memphis.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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