Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

Roses are red Bacon is also red Poems are hard Bacon

Old Macdonald had dyslexia IE IE O

What did Hitler say to the Jewish boy? Nothing, Hitler died many years ago...

Roses are red Violets are blue Deez nuts Ha goteem

Guy 1: So how did you get into hospital Guy 2: I was drinking near my computer Guy 1: So why did it explode? Guy 2: (Doesn't reply)

what's black and white and red all over? nothing... it's red

what sucks blows and gets laid in the closet. YOUR MOM VACUMING

I don't really like holocaust jokes because my grandpa was in it. Yeah he was drunk and fell off his guard tower.

whats worse than a worm in your apple? the Holocaust

How can you tell a baby lost it's voice? It doesn't scream when you staple it to a ceiling fan and turn it on.

What's the difference between my dog and my wife? I respect my dog.

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? X box Kinect

Are you from Africa because you sure look likes you've got Ebola

A kid comes across an injured duck near a lake. Nevermind he doesn't see it he's really high.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am Jack Bauer, Where is the nuke?

guy walks into a bar, ouch

How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen Beatle? Two in the front, two in the back, and one hundred in the ash tray.

Whats 1+1? window!

How do you scare a lawyer? Threaten to kill his family.

Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? Because he's dead!

What is green and slow Grass.

Why was the teacher sad? Because her boyfriend broke up with her.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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