Why did the pot-head have red eyes? He got soap in them.

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What happened to the Jewish man while he was in the shower? He accidentally fell asleep and was late to his job.

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My friend, who has struggled with a lifelong battle against anorexia, died yesterday..." "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" "Yeah, me too. The car ran the stoplight and it was all over...

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did you hear about the mexican that went to college? yes

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Why doesn't the farmer have a dog? He doesn't like dogs.

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What did the farmer say to the other farmer? "Uh... So, you're a farmer?"

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What did the banana say to the apple? We're fruity.

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What do you call Bob if he gets a nose ring? Bob

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if someone chucks skittles at u and says "taste the rainbow!!!!" chuck m&ms at them and say "Im not afraid!!!!!"

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What did the boy say to his father? I don't know. With the seemingly infinite number of topics that two people could discuss and the fact that both the father and son are fictional, it would be unreasonable and border edge mentally unstable for me to assume that you would know what they may or may not be talking about.

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How do you wake up your grandmother........ You don't, she had a massive heart attack and died in her sleep

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HELP!!! I locked myself in my bathroom and can't get out! my laptop is running out of batteries!

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. -It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

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One time there was a man walking down the street. Wrong, it is physically impossible to walk down a street, you can only walk along it.

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Why did the clown have a heart attack? He had long term heart problems.

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what do you call a man that is hurt? A: you call him an ambulanse

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Sandwich.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the batmobile? 'Get in the batmobile Robin'

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Why did sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by an 18 wheeler Knock knock Whos there not sally

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What is worse than catching someone trying to cheat by looking at your exam? Getting struck by lightning.

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Whats cold and frozen? ice

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A man walks into a bar at 4:00 PM NO it was actually 4:01 because my clock is messed up and My dad likes cheese plus pie

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a priest, a rabbi, and a nun walk into a bar...and the bartender goes...what is this a joke? mr. healey

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Q:how do you fit 100 jews in a car? A:2 in the front 3 in the back and the other 95 in the ashtray

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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