What do you call a bear in the rain? A wet bear.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, can I have a ball? No these can't be removed

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

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Why did the butcher have blood on his hands? He murdered his daughter.

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Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

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What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy? Thousands of years of different evolutionary tracks resulting from different climates and available food sources.

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What's a pirate's favorite video game? Pirates lived in a time before such technology existed

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Why did the girl make a sandwich for her boyfriend? Because she offered to make lunch in order to save money by not going to a restaurant.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Gestapo.

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swings? She had no arms... Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs... Why didn't anyone help her up? She had no friends... Why did she die? She landed in a puddle...

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Why did Shakespeare die? It's called life.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Not to a blind guy.

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A man walk's into a bar with a monkey, I fotgot the rest of the joke. Your mom is a whore.

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Roses are red, Violets are Blue Last night was amazing, I have Aids

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what did the kid with no hair get for christmas? cancer.

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Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because yo mama so fat and the pig ate my poop

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How do you punish Hellen Keller Move the furniture around

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Why are VIOLETS blue?

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Why did the woman eat her sandwich. She was hungry.

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What's the difference between a black person and a park bench? Benches are inanimate objects while people are indeed carbon-based life forms.

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What's worse than dying in a car wreck with your family? You being the only one that dies.

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When geese fly south, why is one side of the V usually longer than the other? There are more geese on that side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops