- Anti Joke

Why did the pig cross the road? To chase after his adopted chicken.

Who ate my sandwich? The office appliance that fell from the sky.

What's brown and smells like shit? My boxers.

What do you call a woman with two black eyes? Irish sunglasses

Ok so 3 guys walk into a bar... the fourth one ran.

How do you know if an elephants been in your fridge? It's completely destroyed.

Why did they use the phone as a football? Because it was a phone-ball.

Why is The stop sign bent? Because a ambulance full of sick kids hit it.

Why did the cat cross the street? It didn't. I cut off its arms and legs so it couldn't walk.

What did Hitler say to the Jewish boy? Nothing, Hitler died many years ago...

The doctor told a man he had aids. He told his friends he had AIDS so his friends wouldn't sleep with his wife after he died.

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "I'm going to kill everyone you've ever loved you fucking cocksucker, you think you can get away with sleeping with my wife? You better think again kiddo I will take away everything from you until you are reduced to a smoldering ruin of what you once was, mark my words bitch."

Red are roses Blue are violets Dyslexic am I.

If you have a stroke, call 000

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Names.

Why did jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms or legs Knock knock Who's there? Not jimmy

Knock knock. Who's there? Ed. Ed who? Ed Begley Jr.

a Gay Man Walks Into A Bar And See's its Only Women In There, He Screams And Leaves

A thief walks into a bank. He has an account there and withdraws 200 bucks.

A man with a barbie doll walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says "I bet you $100 that I can turn this barbie doll into a beautiful lady". The bartender laughs and says "Okay." The man takes out a brush and begins brushing the doll's hair. Seconds later the man has a seizure and falls to floor a dies. It turns out he was a drug addict and had a fatal over dose. The bartender never got his $100.

Q why did the kids make fun of timmy A because he was an android with al chunk of metal added accidentally where a real boys crotch would be. Bwilkster

What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

Could not care less if he is jealous, too busy living it up, anyways thanks for notifying me, and guys, I know I could call up the office and tell you all that you wont get paid if you remain reading my comments, I might not be leading by example today, but I suggest you get back to work, as for the case whose name we do not reveal here, my part is done, yes I know, you can find it under cabinet C in my office, the thick file with the color pictures (the only one with color pictures) And that is why I am taking a break, now please get back to work, as I said I could just call down at every damn office room, but that would be unfair for those that are not on horsecrap network. Thanks people, keep the flag flying. Nero your overlord Fuck formalities, im not at work today.

A man goes into a butcher shop and says, "I bet you 350 euro that you can't reach that bit of meat," indicating a cut of beef hanging above him. The butcher looks up and says, "No way." The man says, "Why not?" And the butcher answers, "I have a huge gambling addiction, after losing my family to it, this job is all I have left" The man leaves, ruing the silly bet he had placed.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops