What did the women get after valentines day? An abortion.

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a man walks into a casino, it's the third time this week and he's contemplating suicide.

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Asked by the court barber how he wanted his hair cut, the king replied: ‘In silence.

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if john has 400 cookies and eats 300 what does he have left? diabetes

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How many babys does it take to paint a wall red? 7 and 24 paint brushes cause babys need do overs

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he was eaten alive!!!

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Q: Whats white and fluffy? A: White fluff

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What did John look at when Meghan Fox took off her shirt? her undershirt

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What do you call a girl with an iq of 13 Dead

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What dd the man say to his wife? Make me a samich!

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What is said about the man who is addicted to online gaming? He plays more than 5 hours per day and doesn't have any social contacts or whatsoever.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. There is an entire spectrum of the world I am not privy to.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it accidentally got out of it's pen. the farmer got very mad at the chicken for getting out, and very vicous-like, yelled at the chicken, causing it to get scared, and run to the other side. and that, is why the chicken crossed the road.

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why didn't Lebron James give me a fourth quarter?...he forgot his wallet at home and didn't have any spare change.

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Why didn't Joey play with the other kids on the playground? Answer: He was dead

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Sometimes Jamie wishes he could be a different person. He wishes he didnt have to eat dick everynight but it was all to late. He had to take it down the throat but he enjoyed the tickle it gave him

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How do you make 5 lbs of fat look good? Draw a smiley face on it.

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Guy 1:Whats the difference between a towel and toilet paper? Guy2: I dont know Guy : SO IT WAS YOU!

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a black guy walks into a bar and sits next to a white guy. White guy: "I don't like your kind here". Black guy: "what kind wound that be"? White guy: "the colored kind". The black guy turns away then looks back at the white guy and says", When I'm born I'm black, when I die I'm black, When I'm cold I'm black, and when I'm sick I'm black. You ( to the white guy ) when your born your pink, when you die your blue, when your cold your purple, and when your sick your green and your calling me colored???

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What's worse than eating a baby? Eating two babies filled with maggots.

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Whats the differnce betwwen a Wheelbarrow and a sack of dead babies The wheelbarrow is not in my garage

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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how do you make a cat get out of a tree you shot it

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What do you do at a club? You club.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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