why couldnt the jew play basketball? He was handicapp

What did the jewish man say to the Irish guy at the bar? Are you Irish?

What should you do if you have a 10 inch penis? Subtly tell the world via an anti-joke

A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

why did the man sell the car and bought worse one? it' s his hoby to restore cars

Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

John had 50 candy bars and he ate 45 what does he have...... Diabeaties

How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? No seriously, I don't know because we've only just got electricity in our village.

Why did Justin Bieber cross the road? Because the chicken chose him as a decoy.

What is stupid, black and high? A stupid black kite.

I was sitting in traffic the other day. I was runover.

Knock Knock Who's there? Tank tank who? You're welcome

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

If these walls could talk - the public would pay large sums of money to see this marvel of science. On a more serious note, they might also tell the cops about the many dead hookers stowed within them.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, In Soviet Russia, Poem writes you.

Whats grey and kills people, Terminal cancer,I lied about the grey color

The boy said to the priest, may God be with you. The priest responded with, "And also IN you".

How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

What's worse then three frogs playing leap frog? Nothing that would be awesome

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

what do a toothbrush and an ice maker have in common? ....They're both in your house.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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