y r black people noses so big??? A= god had to hold tem somehere to spray paint them

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Q: How man Jews can you fit in a box? A:if your German than you tell me.

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What do you get when you cross the motorway with a lottery ticket? You get knocked down and killed.

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A man walks into a bar. Of chocolate. Yummy!

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How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

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What do you call an arab with a beard? How cares what his name is just shoot him!

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Are you ready kids "Aye Aye Captain" I Can't hear you "AYE AYE CAPTAIN" Ohh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea "Spongebob squarepants" Absorbant and yellow and porous is he "Spongebob Squarepants" If nautical nonsense be something you wish "Spongebob Squarepants" Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish "Spongebob Squarepants" READY Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

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An american family is picknicking on the bottom of the ocean. They are eating french fries, big mac's, chicken mc nuggets and drinking coca cola, some slurpies too, all purchased at the local mac donalds near lyndon blvd, in chevy chase near that weird house with the toothless lady that always smiles and then all of a sudden frowns at you, often wearing either a dark green or mint green dress. Spongebob squarepants comes drifting by dead in circular pants and little Sally, their youngest daughter asks a question, which cannot be heard because they're underwater.

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Jerry: Hi what's your name? Bob: My name is bob. Jerry: Bob, nice to meet you, my name is Jerry. Bob: Nice to meet you Jerry.

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A man walks into a bar, He is a severe alcoholic and is slowly drowning himself in booze. The man exits the bar after several hours of heavy drinking and walks home. He enters his home to discover a man in bed with his wife. After the first ten seconds of paralyzing rage, he grabs a .44 Magnum and brutally murders his wife and her bed mate. The man realizes he has woken up his two month old, and after thinking of the horrible act he has committed, he promptly raises the pistol to his temple and pulls the trigger. Oh, I almost forgot, the man was schizophrenic and has never been married.

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Q: What do you call a pig with wings? A: Pigs don't have wings.

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Are you from Africa because you sure look likes you've got Ebola

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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Why did the woman not wear a bra? Because she had breast cancer and got a double mastectomy.

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What do you call Metta World Peace after he has hit somebody? Metta World War.

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What has Whitney Houston got in common with a spider? They're both black and they can't get out of the bathtub

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Two Holocausts.

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Are you made out of silicon, because you are silly and your name is Con.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock -Who's there Not Sarah

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse replies "my whole family was killed in 911... And I used the money I got from life insurance to get plastic surgery to always have a smile on my face. My doctor botched the surgery, so now my face is elongated. Even for a horse, of course."

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Woman + Kitchen = sandwich

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A man walked into a bar. He needed 5 stitches.

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What is Black, White and Asian? A Panda Bear

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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