james schmitt whats your last name

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Your Momma’s muscle to fat ratio can only be explained in irrational complex numbers.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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once there was a man named steve. he happily sniffs pot every day after work. especially on sundays. one day, his family finds him sniffing pot. they are disgusted and disappointed in his bad decisions. so they join him

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Every 60 seconds in Africa. A minute passes.

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A three legged dog walks into a saloon. He is quickly removed, as it was an establishment for humans and not for dogs.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Knock knock Who's there? Adolf Adolf who? Adolf Hitler. Are you a jew?

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What do you call a Mexican mixed with a platypus? a pineapple

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Child Prostitution.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar, and have a stimulating discussion about economics

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What side of the cheetah has the most spots? -The outside.

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Robin, get into the Batmobile.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems, nice tits

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How did sally fall off the swings? she had no arms. Knock knock, who is there? Not sally.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Shes dead.

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A black man and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? The mexican, the black man broke his arm and the mexican is driving him to the hospital.

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What do you call a man with no legs? A paraplegic.

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if life gives u lemons....chuck them back and say u wanted muffins instead!!!!!!!!!!!

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How do you starve colored people? deny them food stamps

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Why was grandma lying on the floor? She just died of lung cancer.

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

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A farmer goes out to the coop to feed the chickens. They're all dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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