How do you stop the neighbors kids jumping your fence and stealing your lemons? Molest them.

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How did sally fall off the swings? she had no arms. Knock knock, who is there? Not sally.

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Three blind mice walk into a bar, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative

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A black man walks into a bar, to get a drink.

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i like potatoes But only mashed baked are a little bad they arent tasty. I like food good because food bad can really hurt me

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have cancer

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What do you call a contraption made of a wooden rod attached to three strings attached to three rocks? A completely useless and pointless invention.

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If you have alzeimers, wait, never mind i forget.

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A Mexican and a black person both jump off a bridge, who hits the water first? Neither, as all matter falls at the same rate, regardless of weight, size, or ethnicity.

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Whats better than a panda? A panda with an ice cream cone.

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Q:What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? A: It varies. But most dental offices are open for service between 8am and 4pm

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interru--- MOO! I'm so sorry, I have Tourette's Syndrome and cannot control these sudden outbursts. Please continue.

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I'm not unemployed. I'm on sabbatical. Hey! Don't get all religous on me.

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Q: Why did the boy cry? A: He was denied access into heaven

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender says, "Why the long face?" and the horse says, "I have cancer."

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Two parrots are in a cage. The one looks at the other one and says, "answer the phone," and the other one says, "where are my car keys."

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What does AIDS stand for? Acquired immune deficiency syndrome

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? seeing this joke 1000 times on this website

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What's 9 +10 19

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Where must you go if you have the desire to eat somebody's face? A psychiatric ward. You are clearly going insane and must seek help.

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how do you kill a rich blonde? give her black die

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Q: Why was the blonde so dumb? A: Because she wasn't properly educated.

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What did the Muslim do when he was in a big American crowd? He was socializing.

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Why do Jewish people where hats in church? They feel there head will often get cold

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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