What do you do when you come to a fork in the road? You take it

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What did the blind, deaf orphan get for Christmas? Cancer.

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How do you keep a dog from barking? Kill it.

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Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

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whats worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in ten dumpsters.

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Why did the man throw his alarm clock out the window? Because he has anger management issues.

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a mexican is walking through the desert with no food or water, and no clothes. he'll probably die soon.

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Oh hey is your dad good at golf? No, he's not really good at anything except lying.

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Duncan Traywick is hilarious.

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Why do black people ride Septa? Because septa is an affordable and convenient means of transportation.

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knock knock whos there? doctor doctor who?

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Knock knock Who's there? Me. Idiot.

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What did the first muffin say to the second? Nothing. Muffins can't talk, you idiot.

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How do porcupines have sex? The male begins by urinating all over the female. He then enters her from behind and proceeds to thrust until the act is completed.

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Why didn't the man win the lottery? Because his lottery numbers weren't drawn.

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Why did Tyrone try to sell Timmy some blow? Due to his poor educational background, lack of recommendations, and a terrible job market, Tyrone wasn't able to get a real job and had to resort to selling illegal narcotics. This wasn't something Tyrone wanted to do, because he promised himself he would never end up like his father, but this was the only way he could support his family.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After be told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, Chuck walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

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Q: What happened when Timmy divided by zero? A: He got a syntax error.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your watch? About 3:26 PM Eastern Standard Time.

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What's worse than heartbreak? Getting run over by a steamroller.

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A guy walks into a bar, and then orders a jack and coke.

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whats worse than dropping your ice cream down the stairs? dropping your baby down the stairs

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How did the man rob the bank? With a gun

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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