What's worse than losing your job? 9/11

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come along children

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What's better than winning the special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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What did the 5 year old girl ask Santa for Christmas? A pony.

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STOP LOOKING AT MY JOKE

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind.

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Why did sally fall of the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did Hitler cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Me: Tell me I'm a fairy. You: You're a fairy. Me: Poof! You're a bag of shit!

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A hiker gets lost on a trail and ends up wondering deep into the woods. He comes upon an amish farm. He knocks on the door and an amish man answers. The hiker explains his predicament, and the amish man says "sure you can stay in barn, but promise me one thing, don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course I won't". He then goes to the barn. Right before the hiker falls asleep. The amish farmer comes in and says "make sure you don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course not". So the next morning the hiker is rested, well fed and is about to leave when the amish man approaches and says, "Thank you being decent and christian like."

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What's the difference between uranium and plutonium? Blast radius

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How do you know that a woman is having an orgasm? They go like OH YAH OH YAH:D

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Q: Why did the boy cry? A: He was denied access into heaven

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There once was a genie With a sevenfoot weenie And he went to the lady next door She thought it was a snake So she hit it with a rake And then he murdered the shit out of her.

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I'm not unemployed. I'm on sabbatical. Hey! Don't get all religous on me.

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why are elephants gray? to tell them apart from blueberries.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has Parkinson's Disease which causes his hands to shake uncontrollably thus making drawing anything relatively difficult and a perfect circle impossible.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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What do you call a man who just died 5 minutes ago? Dead.

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What did the boy with no legs and no arms get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What smells like curry and bombs? A dead Indian

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Aodhan Hearty

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How do you make the perfect anti-joke? Don't tell it.

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Your mom is so fat that her BMI is in the morbidly obese column.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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