whats the best kind of chocolate bar? a larsbar

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what is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 11 dead babies in a trash can

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A hasidic Rabbi and a member of Hezbollah enter a bar in a Jewish settlement. (No, of course they didn't.)

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How do you make a mime make noise? Throw a brick at his face

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A priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar. A heated religious debate ensues in which everyone is uncomfortable and leaves questioning their own faith and fearing the unknown.

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Why was the baby so hot? Napalm. Why was the baby so cold? Meat locker.

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A blind man walks into a bar, and a table, and a chair.

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If a banana is a vegetable, how come your mother gets confused when I stick pretzels in my butthole?

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Why was the blind man bored? - He was in a coma

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What is big white and will kill you if it falls out of a tree in winter A refrigerator

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? finding two worms in your apple

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Why did the boy wear glasses? Because he had bad eyesight.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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womens rights.

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No antijoke here.

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What's the difference between a cow? Trick question—cows eat carrots!

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Andoni was here

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Why were 5 tall white guys sitting on a bench? They were in the NBA

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Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

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WHAT DOES A NUMBER DO WHEN IT'S HORNE? MATHDERBATION

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what do you call a dead man rolling down a hill on fire, being shot in the head, and strapped to a bomb Dead

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So, there's a black man, an Asian man and an Irishman who are in a bar, politely discussing wether the Asian's phone would break if it was thrown from a plane in the Pacific Ocean. The black man says "Of course it would break." The Irishman says "I have no opinion on this..." The Asian man says "I think it would break, you are right John." Suddenly, a man enters.

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The snails are salting one by one Hurrah! Hurrah! They fizzle up until they're gone Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting two by two Hurrah! Hurrah! They melt until there's only goo Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting three by three Hurrah! Hurrah! Some shells and slime is all I see Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting four by four Hurrah! Hurrah! We shaker-salt them even more Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die!

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What's the difference between an Elephant and a Post Box? An Elephant is not a Post Box. It is an Elephant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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