Why couldn't the Jew get pregnant? Because he was man.

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What's windy and sunny at the same time? The weather.

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FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

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Two muffins are in the oven. They don't say anything because muffins can't talk. The end.

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Why did the man ask the IPhone to marry him He was smoking weed

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How many nazis does it take to kill 1.2billion Jews? No one cares anymore it was 60 years ago \(._.\) (/._.)/

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

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What do you call a banana in a blender? A banana in a blender. Duh

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What state is high in the middle and round on both ends? Onorth Chiarolinao

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was forced by the man with a gun.

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so a baby seal walks into a club, the bouner immedietly kicks the seal out because it is too young to be in a club and also.....itsa seal

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Whats yello and cant swim A bus full of dead children in a lake

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What did the wizard say to the man? Wizards aren't real. Thus not able to speak.

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how many people with ADHD does it take to screw in a light bulb? wanna go ride bikes

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What did the fireman say to the people in the burning house I'm going to use this water for my sprinkler rather than saving your lives. I might as well use this for something more significan, like my lawn.

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Hay is for horses and other hay consuming mammals.

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a man about 65 years old is tired with his life. he begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. whil on his way to commit suicide, he comes across a man with a magicul offer. the magical man is offering to grant him the power to fly. although, the magical man wants something in return. the 65 year old man, says to himself, "i have nothing to lose". so he gives the magical man all his money and possesions he has with him. with a flick of his wrist, the magical man says, "ok, you have now been granted the power to fly". the 65 year old man, overjoyed of how he has the ability to fly runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. too bad the magical man was really male prostitute broke out of money and tricked the 65 year old man into beleiving that he had magical powers to grant him the power to fly. the 65 yeard old man died from impact and the male prostitute walked away with a wallet full of money.

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What did Raymond say when josh ate him? Nothing because Raymond was dead.

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What did the boy reading a book do?  Well, studies show that reading connects the synapses in the human brain, thus, making said boy reading the book a tad bit smarter.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being ripped apart by an angry orangatang because orangatangs have the strength of ten men.

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A man walks into a bar with a giant banana as a head and the bartender asks why he has a giant banana as a head and the man says get me a drink and i will explain, the bartender got the man a drink and he started to explain why, so i found this real nice golden lamp and i rubbed it next thing you know this genie pops out and he said i get three wishes the first one he wishes for unlimited wealth with a snap of the genies fingers the wish came true next he wished to be the most handsome man ever with a spin and a snap the wish came true but this is where it went wrong, I said to the genie and i cant believe he got me with this one (because genies always put a twist on things) i said: i wish for my head to be a banana

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Ol-ive

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Roses are red Violets are blue Horses that lose Are made into glue

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops