What do a turtle and a bowling ball have in common? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down

What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down

Ask me if I care. Do you care? No.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q:If quizes are, "guizicles," then what are tests? A:Who calls quizes, "quizicles?"

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Joke below was made by Daniel Textor, he's a d i c k.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

knock knock... who's there? uninterrupted cow uninterrupted cow who?? exactly....

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you get when you mix a Refrigerator with a dog? Nothing. That would be impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the elephant cross the road? To run away from the angry chicken who was mad that he was slacking off work.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

"So, what do you fancy doing tonight?" "Does it matter? We'll end up doing what you want anyway..."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why is there an owl out during the day? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What should you do if you have a 10 inch penis? Subtly tell the world via an anti-joke

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats the difference between right and left? I stabbed your mom with my left hand.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero? Because it is impossible, the answer is undefined.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are Red Violets are blue This joke isn't funny And neither are you!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What was the last thing that went into the head of the space pilot of the Challenger shuttle right before it crashed? He was probably thinking about his wife and family...

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what do you get when you cross a jellyfish, a jar, and a brown crayon? i dont know, im not into genetics, and jars dont have genes.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is a six letter word for cactus? Cactus

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Recycled jokes are about as good as a scalar roundabout... [L]

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops