Why did the elephant die? It was murdered by poachers for it's valuable ivory tusks.

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Why was the gay man gay? Because he likes touching other guys penises

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How can you tell if a dog is under your chair? Look under your chair

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Anti-Joke is a sticky wicket.

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whats then difference between a jew and a pizza ? A pizza doesnt scream when its put in the oven .

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Whats worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Finding out that that apple was the tip of a dick

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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Hey you know what? What? Never mind.

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: Bricks.

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A bear walks into a bar. The bear is then shot by the bartender with the shotgun kept under the counter.

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What's wrong with black people? They tend to make mistakes, as do all humans

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A man walks into a bar and sees a depressed looking giraffe. The man says, “Why the long neck?” The giraffe responds, “That’s not the expression.”

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Why don't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Josh. Lettuce who? I didn't say "lettuce"... I said Josh.

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What does it mean when people say your mom? it means that there name is Hunter

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What did Jamie get for Christmas? Nothing. Jamie is not friends with Christmas.

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Why did the personal trainer get fired from the gym? He lacked good customer service skills.

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What is worse than finding dead parents? Not finding them.

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Why did the African boy die? He was denied any antibiotics to heal his severe case of mono and AIDS, and was living on dirty water and dirt.

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Why did the ground beef taste funny? Because little Timmy fell in the grinder.

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What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

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Whats happening when you see your TV floating at night? You are probably suffering from some sort of mental disorder which causes spontaneous hallucinations and should seek medical help before the condition worsens.

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When geese fly in the V formation why is there always one side longer than the other? Because theres more geese on that side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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