How do you make a dentist cry? Kill all his family.

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Pope: how to help the unfortunate people my fellow Christians? Christians: We should give donations and a lot of support. What we always do. Pope: and i shall wear this golden hat, sit on a high quality super expensive chair, this rope with gold attached to the decorations, and wave my golden staff as you help these poor innocent children. Christians: yes...that... Pope: P.S: and live in an expensive church with many children alone.

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a duck was clearing out his apartment when he came across a rat. the rat turned into a genie. 'i will grant you 3 wishes' said the genie. 'whats the catch?' replied the duck 'can i touch your dinkle?'

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What's the difference between a cow and some dirt? They're the same except for almost everything

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What do you call a deer with one eye? Nothing. The deer was transported to a specialist animal hospital and now has two working eyes, eliminating the purpose of this joke. We apologise for wasting your time.

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KNOCK KNOCK WHOSE THERE? AVOCADO AVOCADO WHO AVOCADO COLD THAT'S A RETARD JOKE HAHAHAHAHA GOOD 1

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A man wearing dark sunglasses walks into a convenience store with a dog on a leash. He goes to the middle of the store, and he starts swinging the dog around over his head by the leash. The store clerk comes over and asks, "what are you doing?" The man replies, "Ajiohskdcojqpowuskncvlkzb" Not knowing what else to do, the clerk calls 911. It turns out the man's name is Ruprict, and he has escaped from the local mental institution. A police officer shortly arrives to bring Ruprict back to the hospital.

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Why did Timmy's face hurt? Because there was a frog stapled to it.

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Why did the baby die? Lack of oxygenated blood to the brain.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Screwing in a lightbulb is a simple, menial task, and the fact that the man was a Jew is irrelevant.

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Chlamydia

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What did the jew say to the black man? I'm jewish

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Knock Knock Who's there? You You Who? Yes? Can I help you madam?

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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What do you do when a black person steals your computer Inform the authorities, as theft is a felony.

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What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

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Why did they bury the indian at the top of the hill? Because he was dead.

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Q:why did the guy go to the doctor? A:I dunno, he must have gone for a good reason

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What did the little boy get for christmas? Nothing. He's jewish

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Why is the boy sad? He was getting bullied so he later on talked to a teacher and the bully and him settled their differences. The bullied boy still wishes the bully to go to hell.

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Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the Frisbee gettiing bigger and bigger and bigger.." Then it hits me.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven brutally raped and murder six's parents whilst six hid in the closet and watched.

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So there is a muslum, then he flew a plane into a building and died a sudden death. But he was wearing a helmet.

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A man walks into a bar with a frown on his face His dog just died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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