How did the polack burn his hands on the stove? He placed his hands on the hot stove top burners not realizing they were hot.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man walks into a bar, furious that his son had been knocked down by a car and was now in hospital with a fractured leg and concussion. Another man, who sits on a stool at the end of the bar, is playing with his drink and wondering if his wife had made a chicken curry, since she said she would for tonight's dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Nero Octavios reporting, so far all of our sectors worldwide excluding Spain, Italy and Ground Zero are secure, Nero Augustus is severely wounded but will make it, and despite the our intel Necrissa Angelo is alive and well. We have one single worry though Nero7 the brunt force of the terror attack was large and powerful, yet resistance was incredibly light when we went for the counter-strike, too light, we might have to ready ourselves for some sort of reprisal here.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's black and white and red all over. Nothing, that's a contradiction.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's sad about a truck passing behind a duck? A: Behind the Duck were the Ducklings.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What does God say when a balck person is person is borned? "Another burnt one"

thumb_up thumb_down -19

have you seen Helen Keller's bird house? neither has she

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Life is like a bucket of wood shavings. Except when they're in a pail. Then it's like a pail of wood shavings.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Your mother's so fat that when she goes through rotating doors, the doors rotate around her.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Laughter is the best medicine. No, Heroin is.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: A kid fell in the mud.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Antijokes...

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why was the little girl crying in the woods at night? There was psychotic killer chasing her with a chainsaw.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A white guy and a black guy are sitting in a bar. The white guy apologizes to the black guy for the hundreds of years of slavery endured by his people.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How can you make sure your friend wont die of cancer? Decapitate him

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did Jeff do to the bench? He sat on it

thumb_up thumb_down -19

An Octopus walked into a bar. He then died as he had been out of his natural habitat for an exceedingly long period of time. An octopus can only survive on land for 30 minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Sure, I was not born yesterday, sounds serious, what is it?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the sea say to the penguin? Nothing it just waved..

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man walks into a bar. He realizes that he would need a designated driver if he would want to return home safely. So he then leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Man#1: Who's John? Man#2: John is John. Who else do you want him to be? Why do you ask stupid questions? Are you naturally this dumb? Do you like the questions I ask? Man#1: (Turns away as he is deeply offended by the man who rudely answered his question.)

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why do black people like watermelon? Because it good you racist bastard!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops