What is the difference between a jew and girl scouts. Girl scouts come back from camp

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An alcoholic walks into a bar.... I forgot the rest of the joke but your mother is a prostitute.

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Before Marriage: Boy: Ah at last. I can hardly wait. Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: No don't even think about it. Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of Course. Always have and always will. Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: Never. Why are you even asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get. Girl: Will you hit me? Boy: Hell no. Are you crazy? Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yes. Girl: Darling! After Marriage: (Read from bottom to top)

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what's longer than my shlong? .... nothing

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I ran out of anti-jokes. However, here's a cool math puzzle. 492 357 816 Using every number from 1-9, each row added up equals to 15, horizontally, vertically, and diagonally. Here's another cool word play TEA URN BAY Words horizontally are Tea, Urn, Bay Words vertically are Tub, Era, Any Words diagonally are Try, Bra

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"what did the priest say to the rabbi?" "what" "my religions better

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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Little johnny raised his hand one day in class and asked if he could use the restroom. The teacher said he had to say the abc's first. Johnny successfully recited the abc's and then proceeded to use the restroom.

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When life gives you lemons, you must also have a proportionally sufficient amount of both water and sugar in order to make lemonade.

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the only thing i learned in geometry is when you push two circles together it makes a titty venn diagram

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How do you stop a air plane? You throw small infants into the turbine.

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Why do dragons shoot fire? I don't know, I'm asking you the question.

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A light bulb is very similar in shape to a pear. So, when you change a light bulb, don't replace it by a pear.

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? "Justin Bieber" And you let him in because he's a young talented singer.

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How does a black man spell Jack J-A-C-K

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Q: Whats worse then a minor fender bender? A: Dieing a long painful death by getting stabbed 27 times then getting hit by a car 2 hours later your brother finds you and told you that him and your wife have been cheating on you and your kid is his.

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Sam murray got home after school one day, he siad hello to his father and possibly played some Avatar on the D.S

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How did the Mexican get into the united States of America? He was an american citizen, just of mexican descent.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

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If you can fit many clowns in a car and many mexicans in a car...how many mexican clowns will fit?

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What's the difference between a pizza and a girl? I've stuck my penis in a pizza

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Three Jew begin to walk down the street, they then pursue walking and purchase many goodies from vendors.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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