What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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What's long, hard, and in my pants? The SAT's... I lied about it being in my pants.

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How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen? Probably around seven.

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A musician without any music walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Who do you think you are, a hobbit?" The musician without any music says,"yeah" and turns into a hobbit

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Why was little Timmy mauled by a bear? He poked it with a pointy stick.

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"Free to play" Play free "right now" "Free forever"

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Roses are red, violets are blue, suck my tip and call me Regi.

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What's worse than a papercut? why do you insist on asking me these questions?

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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what did one gay guy say to the other gay guy? want to suck dicks? (cause that's what gays do)

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Why did Maggie shit herself? Because she saw her son.

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Seriosly. too much sex again?

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a guy walkied into a bar... he really got hurt

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what starts with b and ends with b? The bomb i just planted in your house.

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Your mom is so fat that she has trouble walking up the stairs because she gets easily winded.

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What do you call a murderer who killed a black man. kkk

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms. Why doesnt she have arms? they got bit off by a shark. Knock knock. Who's there? Not the girl.

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What do you call someone who puts one number on here as a joke? Someone with no life.

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Q: Whats the difference between a trash can full of dead babies, and a porch? A: A porch isnt in my garage.

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Yo momma so fat, when she sits on a rainbow nothing happens, as rainbows are merely rays of light refracted off of water particles in the air, apparent to humans only on a visible spectrum.

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what do you get when you give a man viagra? A man with an erect penis. Viagra is known to increase blood flow and vascularization in the penis, allowing for erections for people with erectile dysfunction.

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What did the doctor say to the lawyer? Nothing. They weren't even together. He was in the hospital saving people and the lawyer was in his office working on a case.

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Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

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Why would Bill Clinton like Jess so much? Cause he has a vagina, smells like shit, and has cankles.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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