Why is the bowler right handed? He has no left hand.

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Friends are like trees, they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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Was in a coma, survived trough smoke and mirrors, and I had 3 separated sections of my order in order to test the efficiency of my words, united we are about 6.800.000 people. Excuse my anger below, I mean I was in a coma and ended up on some hard painkillers, and while I am still tapering down on a "totally medicinally safe" dosage of 20 mg valium its a bitch, even for a guy that enjoys a mild painkiller every now and then in order to focus. Excuse my excessive typing, its paincontrol vs the stress and all 64 side effects of valium. I am alive, and my followers know that, I do not mean to brag, but Neronism tends to end up fucked up when I am gone with people trying to live up to what only I can do apparently, so I decided it was time to mash the separate groups together... Btw, we live at point zero now, if you do not know where that is, I can inform you at later time. But be quick about it if you have more questions, we only chat on horsehead due the "discussed hours"

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Who didnt visit the orphanage this year? Mom...

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Yo mama so fat and ugly, I don't want to tell you how fat and ugly she is for fear of vomiting.

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Snake: YES muahaha Eve eat the fruit from the three of wisdom muahahaha! Why do you not share with Adam? Muahahaha! Snake: Why is nothing happening? Then the sky opened and a heavenly voice spoke: "Well as long as none eats fruit from the three of KNOWLEDGE... Hmm, I better get rid of it altogether..." Snake: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

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What is worse that a bee sting? 2 bee stings what is worse that 2 bee sting? Kony what is wose than Kony? 3 bee stings what is worse than 3 bee sting? being allergic to bee stings

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What is the worst party ever? Nazi.

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My grandma told me to always keep my head up and just keep going. She fell down a manhole last week and died.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies " My daughter just died of leukemia."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was getting chased by nazis.

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whats something naked and nailed to a cross? jesus, idiot.

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Your moms so fat she weighs 200 kilograms

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In order to find a woman, you need time and money. Woman=Time&Money The longer you spend at work, the more money you get. Time=Money Money is the root of most problems in the world today. Money=Problems Therefore Women=Problems

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Q-Why did the little boy feel hot? A-Because he faceplanted into a bonfire.

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Q:What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A:Lick-a-lotta-pus

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Why did the kid get hit by the bus? He was in the road.

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Once, I went to Peru.

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What did the frog say to the goat? Nothing frogs can't talk.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did hitler cause the holocaust? YOLO

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What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

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"So, what do you fancy doing tonight?" "Does it matter? We'll end up doing what you want anyway..."

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A man walks into a bar He's an alcoholic and it's ruining his family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops