When life gives you lemons you are like "how did I get these lemons?"

Good job, son.

What's worse than finding a worm inside your apple? Finding an apple inside your worm.

u know whats a crime? rape

What is green and drives around in the desert and is not a tank? secretly a tank

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He didn't say anything because ducks can't talk.

Yo momma is so fat that....actually she's quite fit and i'd love to take her out on a date.

Whats sad about 6 mexicans driving off a cliff in an escalade? An escalade sits 7 people.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

whats worse than getting lost in europe? becoming the middle in the human centipede.

Whats worse than tripping? Getting shot

A horse walked into a bar. The bar was part of the fence he was enclosed by.

hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

If one train is heading North at 60 mph, na danother train is heading South at 45 mph, how many waffles are on the roof? The answer is purple, because aliens like coffee.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

Why did the clown get in the car? Because he can.

What's the difference between a black person and a park bench? Benches are inanimate objects while people are indeed carbon-based life forms.

Small Penis.

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

Knock Knock Who's There Mailman Mailman who? Sir, I don't have time for this, take your mail.

Why was the girl crying? She prolapsed.

Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

What's the difference between scrambled eggs and scrambled dead babies? I don't like scrambled eggs..

One Zebra and One Elephant was walking in the desert, the Zebra said its hot and the elephant said i know.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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