How did the black man get a nice car? He spent 8 years of his life getting a doctorate so he could be hired at a job that will pay for his desired vehicle.

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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I have a little dog. She likes being tossed high into the air. I need a new little dog as the last one was caught by a gust carrying here over the sound-dividing highway wall and dropped into traffic.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What did the boyfriend give his girlfriend for Valentine's Day? AIDS

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Which came first? The chicken? Or the egg? Whichever one was more sexually excited i guess.

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What's the hardest part of the pizza to eat? The motorbike.

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"Mommy! Look, I found a turtle!" "that's no turtle." "Oh..."

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles there balls

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Why did the Mexican man grow a mustache? It wasn't his choice. Men naturally grow facial hair and he ran out of razors.

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So Superman walks into a bar right, WRONG, Superman flies into bar

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knock knock Goodbye

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? He said "Get in the car".

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What's awesome about going to a no-pants party? Getting stabbed 2 times.

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What did the squirrel say to Justin Bieber? We both enjoy nuts.

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Lollies are sweet warheads are sour, open your legs and feel my power

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Q: How many Jewish people can fit in a four door sedan? A: 4, or possibly 5, depending on the sedan's optional seating, and depending on whether the gentleman are comfortable enough with each other to scoot closer to allow a 5th friend to join in.

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Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

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What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

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Yo' Mama is so fat, her driver's license says, "picture continued on other side."

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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what is the difference between a puppy and a baby... ...they are different animals

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm using my hand but thinking of you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops