This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

I like my women like I like my coffee... In a cup.

hi im bob i ate a Pickle sucked a boob and died of a haert atak

http://media.photobucket.com/image/whale%20penis/marcus1v0/whale_penis2.jpg

Salt is brown, Pepper is white, my kitchen is in a mess.

it

They say time heals all wounds, yet my leg still had to be amputated.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Rocky was chasing him

How did the black guy get knocked out? He was hit by a fridge.

All dogs are mammals. All cats are mammals. Therefore, all dogs are cats.

How do you make a 5 year old cry? Kill their parents.

Wanna hear a dirty joke? A little boy falls into the mud Wanna hear a clean joke? He takes a bath with bubbles Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is Michal Jackson.

Why did the man give money to the Jew? Why would a man give money to a Jew?

Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

Why was the man walking down the street late at night? Because he's homeless and has nowhere to stay.

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas many gift card to stores he liked

A small mexican boy saves up enough money to buy his very own skateboard. His mother is dead.

What do you call a white guy with 5 black guys. The owner of a basketball team

Why did the asian man crash? He fell asleep after a long 18 hour day of driving, plus he was listening to soothing soul music.

Ubisoft 'Very Impressed' By Pokemon Go, Working on AR game of their own.

Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

So my wife was in the kitchen, and I asked her to make me a sandwich. She agreed. I then volunteered to make her one. Lesbian relationships are amazing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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