hey girl, My Gyarados is BIG enough for you to ride it ALL day and night

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What's worse than having AIDS? A piano falling on your left middle finger.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was a recovering alcoholic who recently relapsed and drove his car through his garage. He took his anger out on his wife and kids. His wife kicked him out and filed for divorce. Conveniently, the liquor store is across the street.

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Q. How much Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? A. None, they just steal one.

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How do you kill a clown? You smash his face into a brick.

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Whats better than 1 person in your oven? 9 people in your oven.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "We are both lawyers."

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How do you drown a blonde. Put a scratch 'n' sniff at the bottom of a pool.

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Four gay men go to a bar and enjoy a drink celebrating their long lived platonic relationship.

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What's better than 24-year-olds? Twenty 4-year-olds.

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What did god say when a black person was born? Damn I burnt one

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Why did the suicidal terrorist swim with fish? He heard the SEALS we coming for him.

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I DO NOT CARE ABOUT NOVA! MY NAME IS VIKTOR REZNOV! AND I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because grass don't eat meat.

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Why is it scientifically proven that even Spider-Man would be a match for Superman? Because none exist. Moral: The only Super Hero... not scientifically proven, but I exist so that makes me stronger than both of them!

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"Wise old man, what is the meaning of life?" "I don't know why do people think old people are so wise these days?"

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I'm a wise old man, so I'm aloud to touch you in the bathing suit area.

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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Why has 8 wheels and costs more than a Lamborghini? Two Lamborghinis.

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Q: whats funnier than watching a black man and a midget fight? A: anything technically, your opinion

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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One day a duck was swimming on the lake and sees an alligator. The alligator says "You will be my next victim." The duck says "Quack."

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Q. What did the woman use for vaginal medication? A. Standard Strength Vagisil.

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Why did mallisa get to go to the bar instead of jeremy... jeremy has prostate cancer and he needs to be examined every 2 1/2 minuites plus he's 7 years old.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops