- Anti Joke

Whats worse than bad sex. Being nice raped in the anus by a teletubby.

Q: What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas. A: A specially modified coffin.

How many Somalians can you fit in a Shopping trolley? Well rather unfortunately there is a lack of Shopping Centers in Somalia due to its corrupt government and its general poverty in comparison to a 1st world country, needless to mention the civil wars. I would guess 7 though.

Q: What did the man with no arms and no legs receive for Christmas? A: Cancer

What's sweaty, fat, and Italian? Italians

what makes white men feel embarrassed and and ashamed? when they find out their girllfriend has been sleeping with a black man.

Have you heard the one about the drunk cleaning lady? I haven't either but I bet it is good. That is a pretty good premise for a joke.

whats the same about a turtle and another turtle? they both seem to like lettuce

What do you call an aircraft piloted by a Muslim extremist? The aircraft's brand name followed by its model number, in all likelihood.

Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: The holocaust

CHEEZECAKE

james schmitt whats your last name

There once was a cheerio. To protect the names of the innocent, we'll call him mike. Mike the cheerio is just a plain cheerio. Mike was walking down the street one day. He was feeling good. He had his headphones on and was enjoying a stroll. All of a sudden, he turns to see a beautiful honey-nut cheerio behind the counter of the store he was walking by. He thought to himself "Man, she's gorgeous. Maybe ill go ask her out." But then he remembers that he is just a regular cheerio. He then goes home. So he starts getting ready to go to bed. Mike then looks at his reflection and sees a spot on his arm. Then he does something you should NEVER do as a cheerio. What does he do? He LICKS it. Then he goes to sleep. Mike wakes up the next day. He realizes that he's become an apple jack cheerio! Mike then goes to work feeling great. Life is looking up. On his way home from work he even asks the honey-nut cheerio out on a date. Mike goes home and gets ready for bed. Then he sees a spot on his arm. Then he does something you should NEVER do as a cheerio. What does he do? He LICKS it. Then he goes to sleep. He wakes up the next morning and realizes that he's become a honey-nut cheerio! Mike then goes to work, comes home, and gets ready for his date. The date goes great and they end up dating for two years. Mike then decides to propose to his girlfriend. He decides that he needs to ask her father for his blessing first though. The father had to work late that night so mike decided to just ask him the next day. Mike goes home and gets ready for bed. He then sees a spot on his arm. Then he does something you should NEVER do as a cheerio. What does he do? He LICKS it. Then he goes to sleep. He wakes up the next morning and realizes that he's become a regular cheerio! Then he remembers that he was supposed to ask his girlfriend's father for her hand in marriage. Mike is scared that he may now say no. He decides to go for it anyway. Confused, he looks at Mike and says "A regular cheerio, marrying my daughter? I don't thinks so." Mike and his girlfriend break-up because of this. Mike feels really distraught over the whole set set of events. He goes to the bar to get really drunk. Mike sees one of his friends at the bar. He tells the friend his story. The friend tells Mike that he needs to go get his mind off of it. He then offers Mike to go to a new club. Mike accepts and they go off to the club. Mike sees so many hot cheerios out on the dance floor. He goes and starts dancing. He dances so much that he starts getting really thirsty. He looks around but can't find anything to drink, so he decides to keep dancing. His thirst really starts to get to him and he starts to really need a drink, He looks around and still can't find somewhere to get a drink. Then he thinks "Wait what kind of drink do people have at a party? Punch! So he looks through the entire place, but there was no punchline...

son, you're adopted.

Why did the man burp? Because gases escaped from his stomach and came out of his mouth.

What's worse than having a friend in a car accident? Laughing at their funeral.

How did the old man climb the hill? He didn't.

Two jews walk into a bar. They laugh over a beer and leave

Your mother is so fat, that she's working really hard to get back in shape so that she can support her family.

Knock, knock Who's there? Die bitch

Two girls were sitting quietly. Badum tss

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? he was epileptic

Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up

Yo mama so poor... that she possesses substantially less money than the average person working hard in order to accumulate money today.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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