Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a retarded failure

thumb_up thumb_down -51

What is blue and roles about on the floor A baby playing with a plastic sack

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Who will win in a fight Chuck Norris or Chuck Norris? I don't even know who he is -Lets go METS!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -59

A rabbi, a nun, and a homosexual walk into a bar. They proceed to get drunk, and party like its 1972. Oh yeah. And your dad was just killed by a refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Roses are red. Violets are blue. At least that's what I've heard, I'm blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

If a blonde and a brunette fell off a cliff who would reach the ground first? The blonde because she was fatter.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Q: When is a door not a door? A: Before it has been asembled or after it has been taken down and no longer maintains the physical form of that which a door typically has.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

How many Babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A man walks into a bar. Oh, wait, no. It was a horse. So... A man walks into a horse

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do you call a jewish person at a construction site? A builder

thumb_up thumb_down +34

why did the chicken cross the road? to form the basis of an extremly popular jokewhich would grace the schoolyards around the world for centurys to come!

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's long, brown, and in the toilet? The chocolate bar I just threw in the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did little Jimmy fall off his bike? Because I threw a fridge at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

a black man walks into a shop, he buys his groceries, then leaves...

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you call literature that's depressing and hard to read? ...a valued part of the English curriculum

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops