There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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Really sorry Red, I did not mean to leave you hanging, and I hope you wont leave me hanging either, I just need my meds or thinks can get ugly, my health, I can tell you and even show you what my condition is, and heck show you my meds, but there are certain things even I wont spread on horsehead network, you know, people are so bitchy here on the internet, and if people knew what I got, yeaaah, I may start getting green thumbs, and I HAAAAAAATE those. Seriously, on a scale of zero (my ass) to ten, how insane do you see me as?

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Why was the African American man afraid of dogs? He had a terrible childhood memory of being violently dry humped by a german shepherd.

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Why can't black people swim? Because there are sharks in the lake.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? It needed excitement in its otherwise mundane lifestyle.

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What's worse than falling off a horse? Falling off a cliff.

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A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "You know, you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate says, "I know, I was just raped by a group of men who thought it would be funny to humiliate me as much as possible. The bartender then called 911 seeing that a horrible crime had just been committed.

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An american, a mexican, and an asian are on a boat. The boat is sinking because it is too heavy. The people decide to throw off things that they have a lot of in their country. The asian throws rice off the boat saying, "We have plenty of rice at home." The mexican throws tacos off the boat saying, "We have plenty of tacos at home." The american throws out the mexican saying, "We have plenty of mexicans at home."

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Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

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Is that a banana in your pocket, or do you just have an erection?

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What did a Blond do in the Desert? She got lost after Falling of a flying carpet

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.

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Whats worse than driving a Ford Taurus? Driving two Ford Taurus'

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Why was the blonde on the train tracks? Because she was tied up by a madman on crack.

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What do you call a chicken that can't lay eggs? a rooster

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

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Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a bag of dead babies? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

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What did Bambi say to her mother when her mother was killed? Nothing. Bambi's a deer. Duh.

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Why was the black guy sitting in the back of the bus? Because there were no more seats available in the front.

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There's nothing more natural than the coals under the fire...

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What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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A jewish man walks into a bar, has a drink, and goes home to his wife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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