Why did the chicken cross the road? Because grass don't eat meat.

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Why was the boy put on his socks? So he wouldn't get blisters.

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my d i c k in your a s s.

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How do you take a picture of a man with a wooden leg? You can't take pictures with wooden legs.

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Sally has no arms. A: Knock kock? B: Whose there? Not Sally.

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Why did the black man across the road? just kidding he didnt make it across the road i hit him with my car

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Who is JP? A really smart kid! HAHA jk

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What does Chuck Norris order at a coffee shop? Coffee.

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Why did the girl call suicide hotline? Cuz he wanted to kill herself.

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Your momma is so fat, that she decided to sign up for weight-watchers, and is now on her way to a healthy life

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whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? babies aren't fruit.

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A penis walks into a bar..

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What did the home-less man eat for dinner last night? Nothing.

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What's worse than losing your job? 9/11

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yo mama is so fat she has more rolls than basken robins does flavors

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A 65 year old man is tired with his life. He begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. He wants no part in the world anymore so he decided to commit suicide. On his way to commit suicide, he comes across a magical man that has an extraordinary offer. This magical man has offered to grant the 65 year old man the power to fly. The 65 year old man, accepts the offer in great interest, but the magical man wants something in return for his deed. The 65 year old man, offers all the money in his wallet to the magical man. The magical man accepts his offer of all the money and continues. With a flick of the wrist, the magical man says, "fly, fly, high as the sky, i grant this man the ability to fly". The 65 year old man is greatly excited now that he has the ability to fly. He cant wait to try out his new power. He runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. Too bad the "magical man" was really a male prostitute that was broke and homeless. The 65 year old man died on impact and the male prostitue walked away with a wallet full of cash.

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Why was this German dude's water bill so high this month? Because there were thirty dead Jews in his shower. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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How do you torture a turtle? If you came up with an answer to that question you are completely and utterly unethical and immoral.

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Why did the girl run over the road? Her buttons rolled to the other side! (From a book called... Al-capone does my shirts) (Natilie)

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what did one apple say to another apple nothing apples cant talk

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what's longer than my shlong? .... nothing

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Jerry: Hi what's your name? Bob: My name is bob. Jerry: Bob, nice to meet you, my name is Jerry. Bob: Nice to meet you Jerry.

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops