what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks: dude, what happened to your eye? The man replies: abuse.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the one stethoscope say to the other stethoscope? Nothing. Stethoscopes can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why couldn't the man walk? He lost his legs when he stepped on a land mine in Afghanistan.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

people say i have big feet but you know what the say about people with big feet? :) big socks. sl

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why'd the chicken cross the road It didn't, it was safely placed inside a chook house

thumb_up thumb_down -8

knock knock who's there ?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why does austin bell like it up the butt? Cause he's a cat a kitty cat meow meow meow and meow meow meow

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the African boy die? He was denied any antibiotics to heal his severe case of mono and AIDS, and was living on dirty water and dirt.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

mirror mirror on the wall who has the most desire of them all? Matt Daly!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

So 2 guys are curious if there is baseball I heaven... So they say when either of them dies they have to come back as a spirit and tell the other man if there is baseball in heaven One of the guys dies and comes back as a spirit... He comes to the other man and says... I've got some good news and some bad news The man says what's the the good news? The spirit says the good news is there is baseball in heaven So the man says what's the bad news?? The spirit says... Your pitching Tuesday night!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you drown a blonde? Weigh her down and throw her into a body of water.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was the little boy crying? Because there was a hair in his burrito

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats better than giving birth to a disabled son? A Blowjob

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why didn't the tv turn on? It wasn't plugged in

thumb_up thumb_down -8

There was a girl that got on the bus . The bus started moving as soon as sat . The bus driver looked up at the window and saw the girl coming closer . Every time she came closer , the more he looked , the girls nose kept on bleeding more and more . When the girl was right next to the bus driver , he started to shudder in fear looking forward , knowing that she is there . When he looks to his right , the girl looked at him , then looked at the window . And started to pick her nose .

thumb_up thumb_down -8

DAAAAAAAAMN! I AM BEHIND THE SQUARE WHEEL AGAIN! AND THAT SHIT IS POINTY! PRETENDING TO CARE IS SUCH A HASSLE! Anyway, I hope you know I was joking (otherwise you would totally be,not as smart as I thought) but yeah lets see, I am the fourth most pointless MAN, after "The square wheel", "My wife" (:)) I guess some guy just married the wrong wife huh?) And the the fucking wheel is a billion times more manly than Justin Bible or whatever you called that... Thing, and that wheel is made from a female tree! What? HAVE THE LAST COMMENT? I DO NOT GET HAVE! I GET TAKE BY FORCE! Well as far as comments and go, and sex of course.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A lady forgot to feed her goat. When she went to feed it, It wasn't there. Why? She didn't have a goat. Another lady forgot to feed her cat. When she went to feed it, it wasn't there. Why? It died 2 days earlier. A man forgot to feed his cow. When he went to go feed it, it wasn't there. Why? They had ate it for dinner last night. A teenage boy forgot to feed his hamster. When he went to feed it, it wasn't there. Why? He spent so much time playing video games that it ate itself. So the boy had his mom make him a sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the teacher fall on her face? She was shot in the back of her head.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. It is an avian species incapable of throwing such a heavy material as wood.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's tiny and smells like a big banana? A tiny banana

thumb_up thumb_down -8

This is not a joke, I'm just bored (or am I?)

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops