A plane crashes on the border of canada and america, where do you bury the survivors? I lied there are no survivors and the bodies were incinerated by burning jet fuel so theres nothing to bury.

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haha

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who is there? Not Suzie

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Yo momma's so poor, she needs to work 2 jobs to support her family.

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What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

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Why did Sally fall off her swing? -she had no arms knock knock whos there not Sally

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Your momma is so ugly that when she stepped on the mirror, it broke.

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We decided to post a joke on anti-joke and see if we can get any rapings

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Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

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What did the pillow say to it's owner? Nothing. Pillows are not able to talk.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

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My friends a Jehovahs Witness. He got all pissed at me because he tried to tell me a knock knock joke and I ignored him.......i totally stole this joke lol.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not answer because he is a horse, and neither speaks nor understands the english language. He looks around, and is confused by his surrondings. He gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H2O." The second man, quite thirsty, says "I would like some H2O too." The second man dies because the bartender is a serial killer and gave the man the hydrogen peroxide he ordered. The first man is killed with a shovel.

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If Tigger was a black panther Christopher Robin would have named him Nigger.

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What is big white and will kill you if it falls out of a tree in winter A refrigerator

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How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

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What did Robin say to Batman before they entered the Batmobile? "Batman, I'm a necropheliac."

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Q. What do birds and a mouse have in common... A. Nothing there two different species

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A man walks off a bus. How did he get on top of it in the first place?

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What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the car? "robin get in the car"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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