Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between Rick Perry and a toaster? One is a republican presidential candidate, while the other is an electrical appliance.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Montague goes to the alcoholics meeting and says "Hello I'm Montague and I am an alcoholic" Evreyone points at him and chants "LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!" Montague is appaled, he expected to be welcomed with sympathy and respect. Then he realises his mistake. He has walked into meeting with a bottle of whisky and is wearing a Justin Beiber T Shirt

thumb_up thumb_down +8

so a salesman knocks on a mans' door and asks if he would like to hear a salespitch but the man didn't answer he came back two minutes later and knocked and asked if the man would be intrested in some girl scout cookies and the man tore the door off the hinges.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have chlamydia, and now so do you!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did jimmy say when his brother had been mean to him all day and he was about to get a straw and his brother took the last one? That was the last straw!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why did the chicken cross the road? it was suicidal.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is pink and smells like tuna? Salmon

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why was 9 afraid of 6 ? because it made her pregnant

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did labour not win the election in 2010? Because they are clearly shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Face Hunter is scum

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock Knock. Who's There? I don't know. I'm paralyzed.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the Salesman leave the leper colony? He had to wish his daughter a happy birthday.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the dinosaur say to the caveman? Nothing. Dinosaurs were wiped off the earth due to a tragic, world wide extinction about 65 million years ago while small mammals which would eventually evolve into humans survived.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What was going through the man's head on the 51st floor when the first plane hit? The 52nd floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Despite their parents wishes, two teenagers under the age of 18 tried multiplying. Their answer was 27.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why is sally sad her parents abuse her daily

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's sad about Justin bieber getting thrown off of a cliff Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A black man walks into a KFC, he then realizes that he is in the wrong store, and walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what do you when a black guy gives you a muffin. you eat it because he was your waiter.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: Why did princess Diana crops the road? A: Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops